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I sometimes find it... well to say hard would be an understandment. Sometimes my heart feels like its being ripped into a hundred pieces when I think about Esme, and thats on a good day. It can be excrutiatingly painful, yet the image of her in my mind was so addictive that I always yearned for it. She was too beautiful to be let down by me, I could never love her how she wanted me to, how I wanted to. Innocence and love radiated from her, so bright that even in my mind she was surrounded by a glowing warmth that made her even more heart breakingly amazing. I could never keep that love within her. I had already seen the pain in her eyes when I had told her only some of my past. That was only a fraction of the painful truth, but I could never tell her everything. You could see her loving glow fade as I told her more, to lie to her would be dispicable. I just restrained from telling her the whole truth, for I never wanted to see Esme without her angelic warmth and light.